I hate restrictions. I hate that I can’t just jump and fly around. I hate gravity and I hate everything else. Why the fuck can’t I run at 100mph? Why the fuck can’t I speak with animals? Why the fuck can’t I jump 100ft in the air? Yes I understand the science behind why we can’t. I understand physics and biology and all those are fucking things that explain why we CAN’T do things. What can we do? We can walk pretty slow, we can operate machinery that allow us to move faster. It sucks the only thing in this world that doesn’t have a restriction is your brain…BUT EVEN THEN WE ONLY USE A FUCKING PORTION OF IT IN OUR LIFETIME. So what the fuck is this bullshit? Life already sucks with the inevitability of death why the fuck place all these restrictions on people too? What kind of sadistic shit is that? I don’t think i’d give a fuck about dying as long as I could do what I wanted and just fly around the world. I will never see the entire world in my lifetime. Ever. That is the stone solid cruel fact. The wonders, The beauty, The interesting things and places I will never be able to visit haunt me. The fact that I will never be able to fly without the aid of an airplane haunts me. The fact that I will never be able to have a conversation with my cat even though I’m going to be spending up to a quarter of my life with him haunts me. This is bullshit. At the same time though I can’t complain too much. I mean one could argue that we walk slow so that we can enjoy our surroundings, one could argue that we need machines to fly so we really appreciate what it’s like up in the sky. One could say we can’t travel immense distances in space so we can appreciate just how vast and wondrous it really is. One could argue that we are given a limited life so that we can truly appreciate living. See it however you want but I still want my fucking super powers.
Know what life is? it’s a series of explosions set out by one another. One explosion sets of another which sets off another which in the end explodes into everything. We are explosions. Everyday we explode on different things. Things we live for or are passionate about – those are our explosions. We explode with the things we like. That’s how it is. Weird isn’t it? That i’m making a conjunction between good things and explosions? We don’t do that usually. We associate explosions with destruction but I mean really. Just really think about it. Explosions are everyday. Explosions are everything we do. We explode when we feel happy we explode happiness and we do things like hang out with friends or write or listen to music all these are explosions. Don’t get me wrong i’m getting to the latter. To the second part. Explosions are destruction. These are my explosions. I explode with my thoughts, with my anger, with my hate. I explode with the things I don’t trust or don’t believe in. Explosions are my ammunition. This keyboard is my trigger. This blog is my gun. Let us explode. Let us see these explosions and do something. Even it’s as menial as bitching about it on the internet this is our explosion. I hate this planet and I hate the people on it (except a few). I explode every day, every hour, every minute. We explode. We need to explode.If we didn’t explode in one way or another we would go insane. Artists explode by painting or drawing, Athletes explode with the sports they play, police explode with how they uphold the law…and writers explode by putting their thoughts down. I wrote this word for word without any pre thought. It probably made no sense. This is my explosion. Fuck the world, As this blog goes on we’re going to get more and more explosive.
Today I’m going to talk about something I like. Weird I know but don’t worry we will be back to the things in this world that are shitty momentarily. Know what I like? I like rain. I like rain for very basic reasons. It shows that the powers that be can even attempt to purify this shitty world. It makes me feel like things haven’t given up on us just yet. The rain is something spiritual to me, it is my zen garden if you will. I love the rain. I love the sound of the rain, I love the feel of the rain, I love the look of the rain as it coats this world in a wet darkness much befitting it really. Whenever it rains I want to write. Whenever I write it’s usually explosive but with the rain it’s actually a little more uplifting. It is now raining. I feel like this world even though it’s so broken,busted and downtrodden that we all still have a chance. We have the power to obliterate every living thing on this planet. We have the power to send every major city into a hellfire from which no one will survive…and yet we don’t. Now why is that? Oh sure we’re all fucking cowards that much is clear but in the rain…I begin to think that maybe. Just maybe we don’t do it because we’re all not as shitty as we all seem. Maybe…just maybe there is a little ping of humanity left in all of us. What a crazy thought hey? Fuck I love the rain. There are good people out there. I mean everyone is shitty in some way but the people who are constantly trying to scrape the shit off…the volunteers, the caring parents, the fucking people who actually acknowledge the guy begging for money and treat other people like human beings. Those people. Those people are the rain personified. Right now I am fire and brimstone. I am anger incarnate but as the rain falls I feel myself becoming more mellow. I hope one day I can also become like the rain. I hope one day this world can become more like the rain….we just need to keep trying to scrape the shit off.
As it is I hate this place. I hate this rotten world filled with rotten people. I hate the rotten devices we use, I hate the rotten addictions we all have, I hate how this place is spiraling out of control and no one wants to stop it because no one cares. I don’t even care. I loathe myself and every other person on this planet. Why am I so callous? Why am I so jaded and angry? This world has been nothing but kind to me, I’ve had an easy life and a good family. Why am I such a complaining little bitch who hates everything around him? Because I can. Because I do. Because I want to. That just shows how spoiled and rotten this world is where even I who can see what’s wrong, can see what needs to be done doesn’t want to give up his cushy lifestyle because of it. This world is pathetic and it’s full of pathetic people. I try to do all that I deem acceptable, I don’t ruffle any feathers and try to live my life without making other peoples lives harder but that’s honestly just a cop out so I don’t really have to DO anything. This world is so full of shit it’s overflowing. I’m full of shit….make sure you look in the fucking mirror because I can almost guarantee that you are full of shit too.
The other day I heard some younger kids talking shit about an elderly person in a grocery store as she was taking a little longer than usual to find her debit card in order to pay for the food she was going to be enjoying later that evening. They even went so far as to loudly say in line “Come on seriously?” It was then that I jumped into action in a manner much like batman or superman would have and said to her (as I was behind her in line, the sniveling little shits behind behind me) and told her “Don’t worry about it just take your time.” She looked at me and smiled and then proceeded to take a little longer to find her card, enter in the number and walk off. NOW FOR THE ANGRY PART. After she left I made my purchase and leaving I overheard the shit sons now saying “Did you see how long it took that lady?” I didn’t hear the rest as I was fuming and needed to leave before I decided various swear words and hand signs where something that needed to be said and done in order to shut the little fuckers up. What the fuck is wrong with this place that an elderly person can’t even go into a fucking grocery store anymore without being hassled by some little fucking ass-wipes who have never had to work for anything in their lives? What the fuck does it mean for the future when someone who has lived their life, done their best, tried their hardest and gave their all can’t even go into a fucking grocery store to get some fucking dinner because the younger generation has to make it that much harder for them because it is that much easier for them to make it in this day and age? I may be a lowlife fucker, I may be a lazy, unscrupulous son of a bitch but I will never disrespect the elderly. I have respect for people who have lived their whole lives without ultimately resorting to suicide or drugs or alcohol as a crutch in order to make it through the day or just end all the fucking noise. Needless to say I was pissed. I am considered a “young man” I am 23 and still in school trying to get a piece of paper that allows me to work places and in my anger I began to think. Those kids must have been no more than 16 years old was I that way when I was younger? Was I a waste of space as much as those kids? As hard as I could I racked my brain to think of any situation where I would have acted out like they did and as hard as I could rack my brain I couldn’t come up with anything. So why in the fuck are these kids already so detached that they see the elderly as something slow and annoying? What the hell happened!? Maybe I’m thinking too much on this. Fuck this i’m going to drink some tea and pet my cat. Until later.
For years I’ve been trying to find a place to dump out all my rage induced bitching, stresses and angry everythings that I experience from time to time. This will become my dumping ground. Anyone who reads this should be prior warned that this is not going to be a blog of rainbows, glamour or whatever the hell the newest fashion trend is. I am going to say things that will piss you off. I am going to say things that will piss off many people. I am going to say things that may offend you or what you believe in. I will swear. I will be as real as I can be. I will try to make you uncomfortable. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Let it be known that these actions are my own. I am not racist, I am not anti-religious or anything of the sort but what I am is angry. Angry, upset, pissed off, depressed and all out unhappy. I’m starting to see red lets start this fucking thing.