Some issues with aging and other shit.

As I am now 23 many things cross my mind like an old man sitting in a wheelchair. Yes I know I am over reacting as I am only 23 but at the same time I have recently come to some realizations as I get older which are as follows. Who the fuck cares about like 90% of video games anymore? I remember back in the day I was all about games. I loved them, I loved figuring them out, I loved beating them, I loved finding glitches and bugs, I loved the newest systems, the sequels to games I had previously loved, the fun it was to talk with friends over the phone or on MSN about tips and tricks we have discovered that the other might not know yet….and then I turned 23. I say 23 because this is the first time in my life that I have not given the slightest bit of a fuck about the new consoles that have come out.

I mean how old is xbox 360? Lets do a little research. November 22nd 2005 (or so it says on wiki) so I was 16 when that console came out. I still remember the excitement as my friend purchased one, I still remember the excitement as I pressed the middle button, turned on the system and entered the world of Halo. I have bought and sold like 4 of these systems. I then owned a ps3, a nintendo wii and about 4 different Nintendo DS hand helds. So what happened? What happened along the way that all of a sudden when now the Ps4 and Xbox one are out and available I could really just give a fuck about buying or even playing either one? I have a theory.

1. Every single fucking game is like every other single fucking game.

This is fact and I don’t care how many of you are going to say “NO MAN THE NEW FUCKING HALO IS LIKE 34535345 TIMES DIFFERENT THAN THE OLD ONE”. You’re still in space, you’re still a spartan, you still have access to like 80% of the old guns and almost every online game mode is the exact same minus a few. Fuck you, Get over yourself it’s the same shit. The fact that now I can fucking sprint doesn’t make it a brand new fucking halo. WHAT ABOUT THE STORYLINE BRO. Read the fucking books you pud they are 100% more interesting for the plot than the fucking games.

We have seen Mario in like 3000 different fucking titles this shit got old for me when I played Mario 64 for fucks sake now they have him flying through space and in a cat suit and other ridiculous shit that I can only chalk up to being a cash grab. The exception is the paper Mario series. Not the new wii one that’s kind of super shitty the old school turn based one that’s amazing. I like all games like this it isn’t limited to Mario but since I grew up with him it’s nice to see him in a game style that I find always interesting. Yes I am biased and yes you can suck on that because this is my blog.

The new final fantasy’s have all been shit, the last good final fantasy game was 10. Not 10-2 I don’t give a shit about cute girls that game was fucking bad.

Kingdom hearts was amazing the first and second ones I could barely put down. Final fantasy!? Disney!? Real time style fighting with turn based style elements and on top of everything ITS A FUCKING RPG!? Holy shit where these games ever fucking good….then the PSP one came out. Then the GBA one came out. Then about 4534534 other fucking titles for hand helds that even though not totally bad still didn’t have the feel and awesome looking cinematic that I grew to love and worship. Yes I know 3 is being made. Yes I am going to buy a Ps4 if not only for that fucking game.

I could go on for pages and pages and hours and hours on different games but I am going to refrain so that I don’t blather forever. I’m going to end with probably the worst fucking sequel series I have ever seen in my life. Call of fucking duty. There hasn’t been an original call of duty since call of duty 4. Seriously I don’t care how you want to argue it it is the SAME FUCKING GAME. Every single 60 dollar game is a really really expensive DLC package. That’s the series for you.

I think I made my point. Back in the day anyone could make a game you know? Anyone. So many different companies, so many different types of games for NES, SNES, SEGA etc. Some where super shitty and some where amazing but the fact that there was so many unique titles and games out there made everything worth while. It made gaming a wonderful and amazing thing that was shiny and new and never the same because when you went into the video rental store and you would pick a game that was your weekend. Lets play this shit, Lets beat this fucking thing, Lets do this! So many exciting feelings that have been replaced by “Hey you gonna get the new CoD?” “Probably not”. “You going to buy the new Ps4 or Xbox one?” “Eh I’ll wait until it goes on sale.” I mean ultimately no one really gives a shit anymore. You hit an age where you are so fucking jaded that even the newest things seem boring and grey. I fear for myself as I get older you know? I fear that one day i’ll look at the world and see nothing amazing. Nothing new. Nothing worth color. Just everything as shit and grey. It scares me.

2. Mortality.

When you’re younger you think you’re going to live forever. Lets be honest that’s just how it is. We as children love the world because it’s new and we don’t know what it’s all about yet. Life is an adventure. A journey. An amazing thing you know? You have no idea about the world outside your neighborhood until you start school. As we grow we begin to realize we are mortal. We will die. There is no magic pill and no fountain of youth. All that wonder fades and the world becomes more industrial. Get a job, get a wife, get a house, a car and some kids. It all falls in place like pieces to a fucking puzzle and there is no fighting it. If you fight the flow you will ultimately end up getting left behind. What does this do to you? It makes you jaded. It makes you cold and boring. Some people embrace life and death, some people can take mortality with a grain of salt. I am not so fucking noble. I hate the fact that I am going to die and I hate the fact that my entire life is going in the way of a drone on an assembly line. I hate that I have payments to make, I hate that i’m almost obligated to be in a relationship unless I want to be alone and unhappier than I already am. I hate social and financial obligations and I hate that everyone I have come to know and love will eventually wither and die. As I was on video games I have kind of jumped into mortality issues (oh look at the title that’s weird).

3. Fear of being old.

This is probably my biggest issue. I’m done with games and shit we’re going on a different path here entirely by the way.
I hate the fact that I am aging. Thinking of myself in a fucking old persons home freaks me out. Being unable to piss and shit by myself freaks me out, never getting laid again freaks me out, never being able to just decide to walk outside and enjoy the day freaks me out. Yes I know you can still do it but I mean without an aid, or a bad hip, or forgetting where my house is or some shit. That freaks me the fuck out. I wonder too. When I am old and gray like that will I wish for the grave? Will I be so broken and sad that I will want death to take me? That freaks me out the most. I don’t ever want to stop thinking. My mind is my only release from this place. When it goes i’ll really be trapped.

I’m done for today this is going to get continued later as I am already getting more angry than I want to be. I need some rain sounds and tea or something. Later.


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