The Rain.

Today I’m going to talk about something I like. Weird I know but don’t worry we will be back to the things in this world that are shitty momentarily. Know what I like? I like rain. I like rain for very basic reasons. It shows that the powers that be can even attempt to purify this shitty world. It makes me feel like things haven’t given up on us just yet. The rain is something spiritual to me, it is my zen garden if you will. I love the rain. I love the sound of the rain, I love the feel of the rain, I love the look of the rain as it coats this world in a wet darkness much befitting it really. Whenever it rains I want to write. Whenever I write it’s usually explosive but with the rain it’s actually a little more uplifting. It is now raining. I feel like this world even though it’s so broken,busted and downtrodden that we all still have a chance. We have the power to obliterate every living thing on this planet. We have the power to send every major city into a hellfire from which no one will survive…and yet we don’t. Now why is that? Oh sure we’re all fucking cowards that much is clear but in the rain…I begin to think that maybe. Just maybe we don’t do it because we’re all not as shitty as we all seem. Maybe…just maybe there is a little ping of humanity left in all of us. What a crazy thought hey? Fuck I love the rain. There are good people out there. I mean everyone is shitty in some way but the people who are constantly trying to scrape the shit off…the volunteers, the caring parents, the fucking people who actually acknowledge the guy begging for money and treat other people like human beings. Those people. Those people are the rain personified. Right now I am fire and brimstone. I am anger incarnate but as the rain falls I feel myself becoming more mellow. I hope one day I can also become like the rain. I hope one day this world can become more like the rain….we just need to keep trying to scrape the shit off.

SELF LOATHING.

As it is I hate this place. I hate this rotten world filled with rotten people. I hate the rotten devices we use, I hate the rotten addictions we all have, I hate how this place is spiraling out of control and no one wants to stop it because no one cares. I don’t even care. I loathe myself and every other person on this planet. Why am I so callous? Why am I so jaded and angry? This world has been nothing but kind to me, I’ve had an easy life and a good family. Why am I such a complaining little bitch who hates everything around him? Because I can. Because I do. Because I want to. That just shows how spoiled and rotten this world is where even I who can see what’s wrong, can see what needs to be done doesn’t want to give up his cushy lifestyle because of it. This world is pathetic and it’s full of pathetic people. I try to do all that I deem acceptable, I don’t ruffle any feathers and try to live my life without making other peoples lives harder but that’s honestly just a cop out so I don’t really have to DO anything. This world is so full of shit it’s overflowing. I’m full of shit….make sure you look in the fucking mirror because I can almost guarantee that you are full of shit too.

What the hell is wrong with this place?

The other day I heard some younger kids talking shit about an elderly person in a grocery store as she was taking a little longer than usual to find her debit card in order to pay for the food she was going to be enjoying later that evening. They even went so far as to loudly say in line “Come on seriously?” It was then that I jumped into action in a manner much like batman or superman would have and said to her (as I was behind her in line, the sniveling little shits behind behind me) and told her “Don’t worry about it just take your time.” She looked at me and smiled and then proceeded to take a little longer to find her card, enter in the number and walk off. NOW FOR THE ANGRY PART. After she left I made my purchase and leaving I overheard the shit sons now saying “Did you see how long it took that lady?” I didn’t hear the rest as I was fuming and needed to leave before I decided various swear words and hand signs where something that needed to be said and done in order to shut the little fuckers up. What the fuck is wrong with this place that an elderly person can’t even go into a fucking grocery store anymore without being hassled by some little fucking ass-wipes who have never had to work for anything in their lives? What the fuck does it mean for the future when someone who has lived their life, done their best, tried their hardest and gave their all can’t even go into a fucking grocery store to get some fucking dinner because the younger generation has to make it that much harder for them because it is that much easier for them to make it in this day and age? I may be a lowlife fucker, I may be a lazy,¬†unscrupulous son of a bitch but I will never disrespect the elderly. I have respect for people who have lived their whole lives without ultimately resorting to suicide or drugs or alcohol as a crutch in order to make it through the day or just end all the fucking noise. Needless to say I was pissed. I am considered a “young man” I am 23 and still in school trying to get a piece of paper that allows me to work places and in my anger I began to think. Those kids must have been no more than 16 years old was I that way when I was younger? Was I a waste of space as much as those kids? As hard as I could I racked my brain to think of any situation where I would have acted out like they did and as hard as I could rack my brain I couldn’t come up with anything. So why in the fuck are these kids already so detached that they see the elderly as something slow and annoying? What the hell happened!? Maybe I’m thinking too much on this. Fuck this i’m going to drink some tea and pet my cat. Until later.

What is all this.

For years I’ve been trying to find a place to dump out all my rage induced bitching, stresses and angry everythings that I experience from time to time. This will become my dumping ground. Anyone who reads this should be prior warned that this is not going to be a blog of rainbows, glamour or whatever the hell the newest fashion trend is. I am going to say things that will piss you off. I am going to say things that will piss off many people. I am going to say things that may offend you or what you believe in. I will swear. I will be as real as I can be. I will try to make you uncomfortable. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Let it be known that these actions are my own. I am not racist, I am not anti-religious or anything of the sort but what I am is angry. Angry, upset, pissed off, depressed and all out unhappy. I’m starting to see red lets start this fucking thing.